Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Who Needs Google?

He’s been a dad for 19 years so here are 19 of my favorite words to describe him:

Quiet.
Worry wart.
Inappropriate.
Helpful.
Strong.
Thoughtful.
Smart.
Tall.
Honest.
Good.
Loving.
Ridiculous.
Protective.
Handsome.
Introverted.
Hilarious.
Ambitious.
Dedicated.
Hard worker.

Once, I heard Miss Nancy talking about my dad and she described him as the silent smile. I think it fits him perfectly. My dad is my favorite sounding board, I can call him and vent for an hour, he’ll usually be the devil’s advocate but sometimes I need that. Anytime I have a question about anything, whether it is how to do something on the computer, where the coolant goes, (I knew it was somewhere under the hood!) or if I should paint something that isn’t real wood. He always answers the phone and he always knows the answer. Who needs Google when you have a dad like mine? I know I am kind of taking over the photo contests for both Mothers and Fathers day but my parents have gone through so much this year. They lost a daughter, gained a two new ones, (Starr and new Kenzie!) I moved 8 hours away, they had to leave their home that they have lived in for the past 16 years, they had to put down Rerun, they lived in a camper for 6 months and life as they knew it has been changed forever. Now that life is finally falling back into place, I think he deserves to be treated.


You can vote for him here: http://kxlo-klcm.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=V&c=59476#SD




Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Girlfriend Makes the World Go Round

Have I ever mentioned that I have the best girlfriend ever?

Cause it’s true. I got placed in the CNA class in Lewistown that is scheduled for next week. I requested the time off at my job here in Bismarck but they wouldn’t give it to me unless I work at least 10 hours a week. That means driving here after my class on Friday, working a 10 hour shift Saturday and driving back on Sunday. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it so I was going to put in my two weeks.

BUT my girlfriend offered to work those 10 hours so I won’t have to quit or drive every weekend. So, on top of the 35 hours she does at her internship, she is now going to be doing 40 hours at her job. 75 hour weeks! My lady is amazing!

I will be in Lewistown for 3 weeks starting on Sunday!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Summer!

I applied for CNA training in Lewistown, I have an over the phone interview on Tuesday, May 29th. IF I get it I would be home from June 3rd – 25th! I have requested the time off from work but I won’t know til tomorrow if it’s approved or not. If it is approved then I will be back in Bismarck for the summer, if it isn’t… I’ll be in Lewistown for the summer! Just a short post today, wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I'd Sure Hate To Break Down Here


Yup, had a breakdown, at work. Full body sobbing, straight-up-ugly crying.
I've had enough of the boys at work; lazy, dramatic and scandalous. It sounds like I'm talking about high school girls. We've had trouble for a few months but nothing has changed; we've been going to our manager about it, but lo and behold, last week he said we are too difficult and a burden to him. Awesome!! So let's take a dysfunctional work group and add a manager who wants nothing to do with us; sounds like things are going to change real fast!

If I was just handling work stress I could probably take it. But add that to living so far away from my family, and having my girlfriend, (who is also my only friend here because of all the drama that went down last week) is gone from 8 in the morning til 11 at night.
I know we are leaving in 11 weeks but it feels like it's going to be a long, lonely three months.

Because I don't want this post to be a total downer, here is the nook Girlfriend bought me today! (I'm a firm believer that any kind of book is the best way to a girl's heart.)




Monday, May 21, 2012

Updates!

1. I'm down 7 pounds and Starr is down 8 pounds! Go us! I don't want to make this blog all about that journey so we have started a weight loss/healthy eating blog on Tumblr. You can check it out here. We are open to all feedback/tips! We have been trying all different types of workouts like walking, The Biggest Loser: Cardio Max, Zumba and Wii Fit. Example of some food porn:



2. Starr will be done with her internship on August 10th! (only 11 more weeks!)  So that will also be our last day of work, we will be applying for jobs that next week in Lewistown, if anyone knows of any jobs, let us know! Starr has her
 in Psychology and Social Work and I thrive in customer service environments. But I have a pretty intensive background in organic food and tech support! (Quite the niche, right?)

3. Our puppy is getting cuter and cuter! We asked Shelly for the naughtiest one! This is Stitch:

4. Kenzie has a new nurse and she is fantastic! I'm so relieved because the one they were going to hire was a dud. Tiffany is great with Kenzie and gets along with my parents! What more could we ask for!

5. Our book is slowly coming along! It's hard to write all of our feelings/history down but it's also cool to relive it! I have a habit of sending random chunks to people so keep an eye out!

6. I went to the dark side, I finally decided I should get an e-book. But I won't give up on real books either! I am just running out of room for all the books I keep getting! So until I get an actual library, I'll be wishing for a nook!

That's all that's going on with me! My head is in the clouds. Thank goodness I have Starr to hold my feet on the ground.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Personally, I'd Like To Be A Skinny Bitch

For the past two weeks, I’ve been debating whether or not to write this, and if I did write it, I didn’t know if I wanted to post it. I am changing my life. I didn’t know if I wanted to share this part of my life, but again, I’ve made a promise to stay open… So here goes!

I’m really scared to write this because opening up about my struggles with make me so vulnerable. I’m really unhappy with how I look and even more unhappy with how my body feels. I felt tired and lazy all the time. Two weeks ago, Girlfriend and I started Weight Watchers. The first few days were horrible, I wanted to face punch everybody. But I stuck it out and got that phase over with pretty quickly. WW’s has made a huge difference in how I think about food. Before it was a comfort, if I had a bad day I’d just make it all better with mint chocolate chip ice cream, (holy shit I love that stuff) but now I have certain amount of points for the day so I don’t like to waste them on things that don’t give me energy or make me feel full. I miss blue icee’s the most. But most fruits are zero points and vegetables are zero points, so if I use up all of my daily points s and I’m still hungry, I can just load up on those. It gives you more control than just counting calories. Instead of using food as an antidepressant, it’s now just fuel. I eat so that my body has the nutrients it needs to function and keep me going through the day. I can still eat everything I want; I have Skinny Cow treats in the freezer and chocolate in the cupboard. But instead of having 10 Hersey Kisses, I have 2 and then the craving goes away and I can get on with my day! I also didn’t live a very active life, I work in a call center so I just sit all day, when I get off of work it’s 11 p.m. and dark out. Now I realize that all of those ‘reasons’ I didn’t work out were just excuses. Now that I make it a priority, I do workout DVD’s, Wii fit, or go for a walk after work. After all, it’s dark and we have the roads to ourselves! I’ve heard that more you workout the more you like it, but right now I just suck it up and swear when it hurts. I don’t like or look forward to exercise, so to keep me moving I have a deal with myself. The deal is: if I work out for at least 15 minutes today, I get to wear sweat pants. If I don’t, then real pants it is. (I hate pants; obviously the world would be a better place if we were allowed to be naked always.) So far I’ve stuck to that deal every day, even getting a 50 minute workout in with Girlfriend yesterday. I haven’t lost much, only 5 pounds, but I FEEL better, which should be what it’s all about.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Who Are You? (Girlfriend's Guest Blog)

I think that life is made up of two types of people, people that change lives and people that need their lives changed. Just like all, categories, there are definitely people that don’t fit into each category, but those are the exceptions to the rule. For the most part, if you think of the people in your life, you can categorize each person into a “life changer” or a “change needer”.

Life changer:

When you think of the people that have touched your life, have been an inspiration to you, or impacted your life beyond belief; those are the people known as life changers. They are the people that are always there for you, the people that don’t care about themselves, but only care about you. These are the people that are always only a phone call away. They are the people that, when thinking about life, were there when no one else was. These are the “doers” in life, instead of just wishing things were different, they roll their sleeves up and get out there and make the change they want to see. They are the people who you respect, admire, and what to grow up to be just like. They are the people that inspired you to be a better person, and motivated you to keep going when you didn’t have one more ounce of fight left in you. They are the people that told you it was going to be okay, held you when you needed to cry, or just sat in silence with you as you worked through your own thoughts. These are the people that left an impression in your heart and on your mind, and these are the people that you will never forget. Life changers walk the walk, rather than talk the talk.

Change needer:

Everyone knows a change needer. Whether you realize it or not, these are the people who lean too much on other people. They need validation from people; they need constant reassurance that they are doing the right thing. They always want your opinion about things, and they can never do anything by themselves. They are the people that leech off the life changers. These are the people that always talk about how they wish things were different but they never make any effort to pursue the change that they want to see. Change needers complain about their lives, instead of trying to fix the problem; and the change that they do want to see, they expect someone else to help make it happen. These are the type of people that think that everyone else in the world owes them something, and that they are entitled to lean on other people rather than standing on their own two feet. These people are constantly worried about their own well being, instead of caring about others around them. When you ask these people how they are, they will talk for hours about themselves, and won’t take the time to find out how you are. If they do ask, you know it isn’t genuine, and they are only asking out of formality. These are the people in your life that don’t seem to make much of an impression; you may never forget them, but for all the wrong reasons. These are the people that go through life, just following the motions, and are not passionate about anything in their life. They never focus on the positive aspects of life, and more than likely are always talking about the things that are going wrong or need changed. Change needers talk the talk, rather than walk the walk.

My advice on how to improve your own life: If you need change, seek to find a way to change it. Don’t rely on other people to make your life exciting. Don’t expect others to aid your every move. Be there for the people you love; do it because you want to and not because you think you have to. Find something to be passionate about. Be the person you want to be, and if you wish your life was different, there is always a way to get where you want. If you are stuck in a rut, find a way to get out of it. Stop making excuses about why you can’t or why it’s too hard to do, and just do it. It isn’t other people’s responsibility to make you happy; it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. Do what you love, and love what you do. Focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. Make your life into what you want it to be.

What kind of person are you?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Are You A Sucker?

It’s hard for me to make friends. I expect more out of people than most. I prefer equal friendships. My best friends and I all have very low maintenance friendships. They are equal give and take, we share in each other’s triumphs and we cry for each other when life gets shitty. We text a few times a week, if we end up talking on the phone, the calls will last hours. When we see each other in person, we pick up right where we left off. I didn’t realize how rare and special these relationships were until recently. Not everyone is able to participate in a give and take relationship, let’s call them suckers. Suckers don’t need to talk to you; they need to talk at you. You are not special to them, because there are tons of people that they can talk at.
I go through phases with new ‘friends’ where we get to know each other and they are awesome, but they end up needing more than I can give. I like to have friends that support me and let me support them. I like friends that listen and feel okay to share with me as well. I don’t have friends so that I can constantly talk about myself or so that I can get validation that everything will be okay. My friends and I have shared interests; it gives us things to talk about so we just don’t talk about ourselves. Shelby and I can gossip til we run out of breath and watch sappy movies til we are dehydrated. We have gone six months without talking and with a Facebook message or a text; we are two peas in a pod, again. Taylor and I talk whenever we need the other person, whether that means to vent, share something exciting or laugh about how dumb people are. We have been friends for 10 years and still haven’t quit each other. Katie and I support each other in all of our life journeys; it doesn’t matter if it’s weight loss, love, depression, our jobs, missing Kenzie or a battle with a co-worker. I would be lost without these girls, but that doesn’t mean to need to be in contact 24/7 or even every day. I love them all and would be there whenever they need me, even if we haven’t talked for 6 months, which has happened. We have a level of forgiveness that makes our love unconditional. So thank you, Shelby, Taylor and Katie. For being more then you have to be and knowing that sometimes life gets crazy. I love you all!
I am not a fixer, Starr is a fixer, she is giving and lives for other people. She is a giver. I do not fit into either category. I like to be there for my friends and I’m a good listener, but if they need listened to every night, it’s excessive. I’m not qualified to fix people and I don’t try to. I believe you need to suck it up and fix yourself.

I'm gonna get Girlfriend to write a blog about her 'two types of people' theory! Keep an eye out!

Monday, May 7, 2012

A What!?


Starr and I have started writing our story. It's a long, dramatic, hilarious and sometimes corny love story. We have over 4,000 words done so far and haven't even gotten to our first kiss! But we'll get there, for now.. here is a little excerpt, part of chapter 4 and 5: 

"...I would show up at work extra early, especially on the weekends, just for the chance to get to spend a extra few minutes with her. I wanted to be there to walk her to the door, help her get the store opened up, and spend quality time together before anyone else showed up. I wanted to be around her, I wanted her to want to be around me. She was cute, she was sweet, she was innocent in her own ways. There was just something about her that mesmerized me. I got to flirt in that sneaky way that she thought was just a friendly gesture. We talked about everything; friends, crushes, family, our pasts, music, what we liked to do for fun. We would goof around and have fun. We worked well together and got our work done, but we would also be lazy, and lay in the booths and listen to music and just talk when we were slow. We started to become friends and the closer we got, the further I fell. We started to make plans and hang out more outside of work. I couldn’t get enough. If she was working on a day that I didn’t, I would make an excuse to stop by. Everything about her was more perfect than I could have ever imagined. I had had crushes before, but never anything like her. Her laugh, her smile and the way she walked, I was falling in love with someone that I knew would never be mine.
Chapter 5
Hey! This is Kayla, the text read. It was Christmas morning and I had finally gotten a cell phone. I texted the only number I knew by heart and I received a reply almost simultaneously, from then on, Starr and texted constantly. A few weeks later she asked me if I wanted to play a game, it was called the question game and it was just that simple. She would ask me a question, I would answer it, she would answer it and then it was my turn to ask the question. We would play for days. The more I got to know, the more I wanted to know. She became my go to girl, anything I needed to talk about, whether it was happy, sad, embarrassing or ridiculous, she was there. She came to know all my secrets and all my dreams."

If anyone has any advice on getting published, let me know!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My Friend, My Hero, My Mom

KXLO is having a Mother's Day photo contest. It would mean a lot to me if you could vote for her, here is the link:

Vote for Soni! Click on Vote for Soni! It will take you to the webpage!