Sunday, July 29, 2012

Guest Blog: Robyn Keller

Robyn so kindly wrote me a guest blog!

Friendship is not something that will happen overnight. It will take days, weeks, and months to truly find your real friends. Sometimes it will even take years.

When I went to college in the fall of 2008, I thought that all the friends I had from back home would still be there for me when I needed them. Throughout high school, they told me they would always have my back no matter what.

But I found out the hard way when I got to college that not all of them would be there for me. They were only there when times were good or when they needed something, but once the shoe was on the other foot, they had disappeared. They weren’t going to be there for me when I needed help.

As my first semester of college got underway, I started to make some new friends. These people, I thought, would be there for me no matter what. I once again found out that not everyone I thought was my friend would be there for me.

There are a few of those people who I considered my friends who did stay by my side in the dark moments. They were the ones who supported me through a really difficult decision and were there when I needed someone to talk to. Those people are the reason I am still here today.

When I left the University of Mary to go to the University of North Dakota, those people who were real were still there for me. I learned to cherish my time with them, but also to cherish the random acts of kindness I got from them. Who knew that a simple phone call or text could make your day so much brighter!

While I was at UND, I really struggled to find good friends, ones who would accept me for me. I tried so hard to fit in that I ended up making friends with the bad crowd. I think you know what I mean. The crowd whose only desire is to drink as much as they can and they only like you when they are drunk. When they are sober, they want nothing to do with you.


When I finally realized that Bismarck was where I needed to be and where I wanted to be, I withdrew from UND and transferred back to Mary.

During my time off before starting school again, I realized that I had real friends in my life. These are the people who would do anything to see me smile. They were the ones who, when something devastating happened, would call or text me to find out what they could do to help me. They were the ones who would listen to the things I wasn’t saying and offer their help in any way they could.

Finding these types of friends isn’t impossible. I firmly believe that you need to go through some shitty friendships to find what you truly deserve, what is truly real. And when you do, those friendships become priceless.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Small Town, USA

I decided to include a guest blog I've written for a local realtor.

"I used to think it too small to spend a life in, but now I'm not so sure." - Mary Kelly

I left Lewistown, Montana two days after I turned 18. I moved to Billings, the biggest city in the state with a culture shocking 100,000 people. 10 months later, I moved to Bismarck, ND, which wasn't as big, but with the oil boom happening, it wasn't as safe either.

When I came home for my first long visit, it was like I was looking at home through new eyes. When I was a teenager, I assumed that every adult I knew was waiting for me to mess up, then they would call my parents. It took a little growing up to realize that the adults in my life were more worried about keeping me safe than getting me in trouble, and in that small town, I had a lot of guardian angels. Now, it felt more like the entire town was a huge, albeit unconventional, family.This idea was made into a reality quickly after I left again.

My little sister, Kenzie, was in a car accident during the summer of 2011. The little community that I couldn't wait to run away from, turned into the place I ran to, and they welcomed me with open arms. Strangers were putting on fundraisers for my family and everywhere I looked there were green and yellow "Pray for Kenzie" magnets.

After being gone for two and a half years, I am finally coming full circle and moving back home where I belong. Where life a little slower and a little simpler. People genuinely care about one another and differences are embraced as opposed to discriminated.

Guest Blog: Sam Thomas!

So I am new to this blogging thing, so it’ll probably sound more like ranting or that I’m just talking ‘at you’ rather than organized, coherent thoughts and ideas, so I’ll ask you to bare (bear? Whichever, I’m mad at the rain and it’s 7pm and the baby is taking her first nap of the day so grammar isn’t quite up there on my ‘things I care a lot about’ list.) with me. Seeing as this is Kayla’s blog I think it’s fair to start there. Kayla’s only about a year younger than me so I at least saw her a lot during school. I think I mostly got talking to her more because she and Starr were such good friends and Starr was in my sewing class (was Kayla too? I can’t remember!) If Kayla was, then I’m sure I talked with her there as well. Anyway I think the point is that we were never super close but always sort of in that more than acquaintances but not quite friends weird sort of relationship that doesn’t really have a name. Facebook friends, we’ll call it that.
I read her blogs and we’ll chat via comments or messages every so often and I’ve done what I could, even if it was just sending good vibes her family’s way, throughout the journey they’ve been on this past year. Well every now and then a facebook friend turns into more and you find yourself making plans to hang out in ‘real life’ (feels like some other dimension saying it that way ha!) and that’s about where we are at and I’m glad, I don’t have a lot of real friends and being able to add another is pretty dang awesome.
I think real friends are pretty hard to come by, especially after high school. Or maybe it’s just that after you graduate, you learn who your real friends actually are. Most keep in touch via facebook or email or texting, which is nice but just lacks..I’m not sure, but something. Whatever it is that makes a real friend, a real friend. Maybe it’s that with a real friend you don’t often say “Oh hey!! How are you??” in that ridiculous phone voice. I think you both need to understand that you’ll always be there for each other no matter what, but might not always want to hang out. Real friends can just say “nah, I’m being lazy and would rather stay home.” Real friends don’t care if you haven’t showered in one too many days and are still trying to get away with it by putting up your hair. If they think you’re being stupid, they’ll let you know. And when something bad happens and they say they are sorry, you know they really mean it and it feels good to know somebody is there. They will get mad at you but get over it within minutes or hours.
Well shit. I didn’t realize how hard describing friendship really was. Maybe because it’s almost more of a feeling than something you can describe, an invisible force like..’The Force’? Close enough! Also, I can't tell you how many "best friends" I've had through the years but its funny that at 21 years old, I've only got two of them left. One, I've known since I was 5 and the other is my boyfriend Kody. I‘m bummed I had this wonderful, moving blog planned out in my head and I get to writing and it just didn’t come out. I guess I’ll end with saying that if you can comfortably talk about poop or pooping or farts and laugh at and with each other at the same time and silences aren’t awkward, they’re probably a real friend. Also if they are one of the few people who say “ I’ll babysit ANYTIME!!” And actually do. I’m not sure who said this, but it’s my favorite quote about friendship (it’s on a sign in our kitchen).
“Good friends are like stars, you don’t always have to see them to know they are always there.”
-Sam Thomas

Her blog: http://samslifetoday-thoughts.blogspot.com/?m=1 (you'll have to copy and paste)

Thank You to All Those Awesome Letter Writers

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.”

I just want to say a huge thank you to the people who have written letters for me in the past week! You guys rock!

Twyla
Brian
Robyn
Mom and Dad
Girlfriend
Samantha
Shelly
Nancy (Moore)
Nancy (Fry-Moline)
Jessika
Corrie
Connie
Kelsey
Taylor
Rachel
Cat
Jason
Gina
Lucy
Emily
Dana
Grandma and Poppa Zarn

Thank you for taking time out of your lives to help out with this awesome cause! Love you guys! (If I missed anyone, you have my permission to face-punch me.)

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Guest Blog: Ging!

Taylor has been by my side for longer than anyone that is currently in my life. We have a weird, ridiculous, awesome friendship that no one else understands. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Friendship seems to not be a big deal to a lot of people anymore. Ever since I came to college I haven’t met someone that acts like a true friend should. If they do, its never for long. At least the people I have given a chance to do so thus far.
High school- we had those friends that you could call/text/run off with whenever you needed or wanted to. You cried, laughed, bitched and whined, and went on adventures with these people. They got you into the most trouble, but also had the best days with them. My FAVORITE memories of high school were with the same people- Kayla, Keah, and Sara were almost always there. No matter how mad we got or how bad our fights were we always came back together. They got me through some of the worst days ever. Your true friends teach you things too. To not ditch your friends for boys, to listen to them because they know you and are better judges of character because they’re on the outside, and they proved that love and confidence have a big connection.
College- Is there for the same reason you date multiple people before finding that special one. You have to go through bad ones in order to learn how to love and appreciate the right ones. You meet new people and form friendships, but best friends take more effort to find. College just gives you the options to choose from.
Maybe it’s the small town upbringing, maybe its how your parents raised you, or maybe its just that some people never had that one friend that taught you to be the kind of friend you wanted, or whatever. But whatever it is, some people around here didn’t learn how to be a true friend. I’ve been here for 2 years now and I had a great dorm-roommate and RA. I had 2 “best friends” that ended up treating me like dirt and basically showing me I didn’t deserve their time. I had a former friend use me to my breaking point. Hopefully it isn’t just me, but I seem to go through friends like water. I think I find a good one and then they start acting like a shady boyfriend.
Those true friends that stick with you through everything, and you know you can call even when you are fighting, those are hard to find and need to be cherished. Everyone needs their friend that can give them brutally honest answers when you ask for them and tell you when it is or isn’t your fault. If I didn’t have one I would still be crying in a corner about losing another friend over something stupid that inside I knew wasn’t my fault.

-Taylor

The link to her blog: http://taylormachler-myescape.blogspot.com/?m=0
(you'll have to copy and paste it)

I'm trying to get more bloggers so I can do an entire week of people's different views on friendship! Let me know if you'd like to write!

We Acquire the Strength We Have Overcome.

This week has felt like a time warp.

Starr's good friend, Sam, has a little 9 year old sister. 5 days ago, that little sister was critically injured in a car accident. Sam and her big sister, Jill, flew in from New York to be with her. Starr and I called in to work yesterday and took the day off to spend with them. While we couldn't go in to see Baylee, we were able to spend a few hours with Sam and Jill.

Everything they are going through has hit so close to home. Just a year ago we were in the same position. Listening to them talk about what they were feeling and going through takes me right back to the Great Falls ICU room that became Kenzie's home. I remember being scared to talk to Kenzie because when I talked to her, I would cry and I didn't want to scare her. I remember sitting silently, waiting for the doctors or nurses to come in to give us any information, and as soon as they would give us more hard news, our hearts would break into even smaller peices. I remember thinking that she'd wake up and everything would be okay again. After all, it was my little sister and bad things only happened on TV and in the news. It never happened in real life, let alone my life.

Jill asked me how we got through it and the answer is just to take it day by day, minute by minute if you have to. Just when you think you're all cried out, you'll cry a lot more. Remember to eat, cause a hungry girl, means a grumpy girl and anger will make you cry even more. If you need to hate God, then do it. It wasn't anyone else's business and you don't have to explain yourself. Hug your loved ones, they love you and they don't know what to say to make it better. Let them know they don't have to know, they can just listen and that's okay. Don't forget to fight. Fight for what you think is right.

As they were getting Kenzie prepared for her flight to Seattle, her nurse came up to me and hugged me, and during that hug she told me that her sister died in a car accident when she was 16 and she would have done anything to have given her sister more time.

Hospitals are tough places to grieve in. All of your focus is on your loved one that's in there, but you can't help but notice the other families that share the waiting room. There is a quiet understanding between the familes that you're all on the same team. It renews hope when someone gets out, but it makes the tunnel even darker when another person doesn't make it.

Hold on to your loved ones, you never know what's going to happen.

(I'm still looking for a few people to write letters! I've had some people say they would and they've fallen through. Also: looking for guest blog writers! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

What is a Friend?

What is a friend?

Before I start, I just want to add a disclaimer. My real and true friends can disregard this guest blog. For all means, continue to read on, but I don’t want them to think they are in any way, shape, or form who I am writing about today. I also want to add a disclaimer that I do not mean anything regarding the people that have been there through Facebook (Lewistown people that I haven’t gotten to know well yet; you know who you are) and I also do not mean anything regarding members of my or Kayla’s family. This is strictly about friends.

I have several people that I consider to be good friends, and I think they deserve a shout out. Kayla, Marsha, Robyn, Thomas, Steph, and Shawn: Thank you for everything. You are truly the reason that I am still here today. Thank you for understanding that I was just as effected in the last year as anyone else. Thank you for never leaving my side. Thank you for the daily text messages to make sure that I was ok. Thank you for caring enough to realize when I had too much on my plate. Thank you for showing me that there are good people in the world. Thank you for letting me breakdown and not expecting me to always be the strong one. Thank you for being there when no one else was. Thank you for understanding my side of life and recognizing that I was trying as hard as I could. Thank you for over and over again showing me that I was not alone. Thank you for letting actions speak louder than words. Thank you.

My mother and my grandmother have always say, “If you find a few good friends in life, you will be lucky”. I never understood that statement until recently. I used to think that I had a ton of friends that would be there for me no matter what and that I could trust them. I have had to learn the hard way, and I can honestly say that sometimes parents do know what they are talking about.

Can the term friend be defined by words or is it something that only actions can prove to be true? We always hear the saying, actions speak louder than words. As I think about life, there are very few people that show their friendships through actions. Most people can talk a big talk, but they can’t walk a true walk.

According to society, the word friend is defined as “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations”. When I think of what a friend is, those words do not come close to my own definition. To me, a friend should be someone that is there through good and bad; someone who accepts me, with flaws, and doesn’t judge me; someone that is there to laugh with me, but is also there to cry when the time comes; someone that is there for me, even if I don’t deserve it. A friend is someone that I can spend time with, sharing mutual interests. Someone to go on adventures with, be spontaneous with, get in trouble with, and someone to be crazy enough to go along with all those dumb stupid ideas I come up with.

Over the last year, I have learned a lot about friends. I have learned that some people who claimed to be friends dropped me when the going got tough. I have learned that some people were there for all the good times but when I was broken and shattered and need someone to lean on, they were not there. I learned that some people who claimed to be my friend wanted to be friends when I was there offering them support, but as soon as I was the one that needed some guidance, they were not there. I learned that some people were selfish and were only looking out for themselves. I have learned that although you can laugh and have a good time with someone, that doesn’t make them a friend. I learned that my definition of what a friend is, is a hell of a lot different than other peoples.

I have lost a lot of “friends” in my life in the past year. There were “friends” that dropped Kayla and I after the accident because we didn’t party and go out every weekend like we had before. There were “friends” that tried to tell me how to live my life. There were “friends” who thought they knew and understood what I was going through and expected me to just snap out of it. There were “friends” that said I had changed and they wanted the old “Starr” back. There were “friends” that were jealous of the relationship Kayla and I had and tried to break us up. There were “friends” that I had to drop because I no longer had anything in common with them; when they were talking about how they got drunk the night before or how pissed they were about the latest test, I was just trying to not forget how to breathe. There were “friends” that did not understand that I was struggling just to make it through each day. There were “friends” that expected Kayla and I to be people that we were not. There were “friends” that wanted be more than friends. There were “friends” that weren’t friends at all.

Today I was talking with someone that I highly respect, and we were talking about friends. During that conversation I came to the realization that there aren’t a lot of people out there that can be considered to be a real friend. I realized that a lot of times people mistake acquaintances for friends. I realized that there is a difference between a friendship and a healthy friendship. I realized I am thankful for the people in my life that I consider to be good friends and I am also thankful that I have let go the people that were “poison” in my life.

(Another disclaimer!) I am not claiming to be flawless or the perfect friend; I am just explaining my thoughts and trying to give some insight to what I have learned about friendship over the last year.

Written by: Girlfriend

Sunday, July 22, 2012

July 11th

We threw a barbecue on July 11th to celebrate the year. We had a pretty good turn out and a blast!
Kenz with both eyes open!

 Madison gave her a Sturgis FFA shirt!
 Flowers from Kourtni!
 So much ice!
 Momma had to have green table cloths
 Kenzie's entourage
 Leslie, Ashlee and Jordan

 So many cars!
 Maim and the girls!
 Kiz's boots
 Kenzie forgot to take her sunglasses off...shithead
 Stitch and his sister, Jersey!

 Sunset view from the backyard
 The girls
 Starr found a kitten... 
 We called him Taco.
 Madison and Kayela decorated the garage!
 11:11 on 7-11! 
We played a little pass the bottle.

Family and friends remembered the day on Facebook.


 To Kiz, From Starr














I don't think people truly realize how much their words mean to us. Thank you for your continued support.

Not a Teenage Anymore

Yesterday was my birthday and my girlfriend is so amazing that I just have to share what she did for me.

At 12:01 a.m. she had a birthday shot, a mountain dew and rum, and ice cream cake all ready for me. (My favorite things)

Then she gave me a note that explained that, although I already got my big present, (a nook) she couldn't let the day pass without a few presents. She made me 10 coupons and got me 10 presents and at the designated time I would get to open them. I got one every 45-55 minutes.

It was amazing. The coupons had things like maid service (she would clean and vacuum my car) and free of babysitting duty, (she would get up with Stitch every night.) The presents just showed all the little things she knew about me, I got a 4x t-shirt! I love love love them and have only been able to find one  and they are my favorite thing to sleep in. I also got a zip popper, a homemade comic strip, and a CD of all of 'our songs.'

She took me out to the movie and I got to pick! (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter!)

Then she took me out on a date to Paradiso for mexican food and fried ice cream and I didn't even have to wear makeup!

I was worried how this birthday would pass because it was my first one away from my family, (thanks Keah) and the second birthday without Kenzie being the first one to say "Happy Birthday!" But Starr eased my worries and easily made it one of the best ones I've ever had.






Thursday, July 19, 2012

Because it's Home

With the moving date coming up soon, (August 11th!!) Starr and I keep getting asked the same question: Why Lewistown?

We want to move home. We want to be around people who know us and love us. We want to see our families more. Life is a lot more simple in Lewistown. It's slower paced, quieter, just better for us. At least for now. We want to settle down and do a little growing up. We want to start a family. (Just animals!)

Basically, Lewistown is the place for us. It's what we need right now and it's where we belong.

If anyone is interested in writing a letter for me, I'd really appreciate it! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.

Here are some girlfriend pictures we had done: