"I want all of you, forever, everyday."

STARR PROPOSED TO ME!

I know, I know. Finally, right?

Our love story started 5 years ago but we've been together consistently for the past 2.5 years. 

The top is us in beginning of 2008 and the bottom is us 2 weekends ago. (I had weird hair.)

Our engagement story:

Starr called me on her way home from work and asked if I wanted to go for a walk tonight without the dogs. We walk the dogs a lot and always follow the same path but instead of going on our usual route she wanted to go through the pasture. The view of the Moccasin Mountains from our pasture is amazing and it's one of my favorite places in the world; I always call them "my mountains". Well, all the horses had to be in our business and we were almost all the way through and she was just standing there. I kept telling her "Let's go, come on." And she kept saying "Come here." She was driving me crazy. So I walked towards her and she told me to close my eyes because she had a surprise. I was thinking she got me a candy bar or something like that. I opened my eyes and she was on one knee and she had the ring out and we were standing with a perfect view of my mountains. She said "Will you marry me?" And I said "Is this a joke, are you kidding?" Then I said "yes! Yes, yes!" and started crying... of course. 

My mountains

Pistol thought she was being soooo helpful.

The view was incredible!

More of my mountains.

We've had such awesome reactions from people, we couldn't have guessed we'd get so much support.

Starr's parents

Starr submitted our picture to Gay Marriage USA's Facebook page and we've gotten over 3,800 likes!

Then FCKH8 took the picture from them and posted it on their page! 

This prompted a message from a stranger:

Dear Starr and Kayla, 

You don't know me, but I saw your and Kayla's engagement picture and wanted to send congratulations your way. I grew up in Lewistown, in fact my parents and grandfather still live there. I left because as a gay man I thought it would be easier to find love and support elsewhere....I'm glad you didn't have to do the same. I hope you are finding most people in town to be supportive and if not, I wish you all the strength in the world to deal with them. Once again, congratulations and know that strangers out in this world are incredibly inspired and proud of you. Sometimes love takes way more bravery than it should have to.

Best wishes,

S

(I will not post his name here)

I know that at least for me, getting engaged to the girl I love was not about making a statement, it was not about being gay, it was not about anything said in the bible and it wasn't to steal anyone's thunder. It was about love. I love Starr more than I value peoples' negative opinions. I am proud of her and proud of our relationship. She's a rock star and our relationship is amazing. We have an awesome support system in Lewistown and through our extended families. It breaks my heart that people have had to deal with shitty people who are miserable enough to try to ruin someone else's happiness. There have been a few negative comments about this step we've taken but fuck those people. Only value the opinions from the people you value.

 I found my soul mate at age 15 and even though we've been down a rocky road and it hasn't always been easy, it has always been worth it. We have a healthy, happy and successful life together. We trust, respect and value each other. How lucky am I to have found someone so special, at such a young age?  

Here is our first picture as an engaged couple! 

I am so thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I've never known that it was possible to feel so sure of something before now. I'll always have her to keep me grounded when my head is in the clouds, to love me even on my worst days; to laugh with, day and in and day out. It's us against the world. 

I'm Fucking Weird

This blog is going to be a list because I don't feel like writing complete sentences!

Ready? I'm weird because:

I watch YouTube videos more than I watch TV. (Don't ask about my subscriptions because they are embarrassing.)

I love Teen Mom. Like, I even made a Twitter so I can follow them. 

I play Candy Crush obsessively.

The more depressed I am, the less I sleep.

Starr and I have to divide chores, who gets to pick the TV show and who has to take care of the animals which nights because otherwise we fight. But that's the only thing we fight about.

I'm an extremely co-dependent being. I get a little crazy if I'm away from Starr or Kenzie for too long. Like more than 10 hours.

But I also get grumpy if I don't have alone time. I love being alone. 

It feels like the more I learn, the dumber I feel.

I suck at fundraisers because I hate humans. They are my least favorite animal. (Besides snakes)

I listen to podcasts while I fall asleep.

I have to have a blue Monster, every single day.

That's the end of my weirdness for the night. 

They Just Know

"Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to." - Alfred A. Montapert

These animals could teach a some humans quite a few tips on how to treat our friends.

You're supposed to be there for friends, no matter what.

Devastated

It's Valentine's Day and I'm excited. Starr always goes out of her way to make me feel special and spoil me senseless.

But my heart is heavy. I miss Kenzie horribly. I miss every little thing that she used to do. Her dance moves, her laugh, her loud voice. I've been pretty good for a few months and I miss her every single minute of every day but today the weight seems so heavy that it's hard to breathe.

Today, the world feels empty and hopeless without her personality.

Forget Tiny Steps, Kenzie Shoots for the Moon

My badass little sister now goes to school on Mondays and Wednesdays! How awesome is that?! This blog will be all things Kenzie.

Quote from my rad father:

"We are glad she finally made it back to school. We think it will do her alot of good with all the old familiar sights and sounds of the class rooms and the hall ways. You know when we were in the hospital and the Extended Care Center we had nurses, cna's and other people tell us the same thing about alot of people wouldn't do what we are doing. I think it's probably true but I think you would be surprised at seeing your child laying there all broken and she still has the fight and the will to live you don't want to give up on that and we never even once thought about on giving up on her. You learn alot about yourself in a situation like this."

Quotes from my awesome cousin Katie:

"I read every day of people's thankfulness and how awful life can be. The last few months have been a test on me emotionally and physically. But every day I am thankful for all the love, prayers, and help from strangers, family, friends, medical staff and everyone else who has helped my family over the last year and a half. Today my lovely cousin Kenzie got to attend school again, something I didn't think was possible a year ago. It makes me greatly thankful for the joys of being able to live my life even if I have bumps in the road."My family is amazing.Kenzie wears a Passy-Muir during the day sometimes. Click here for more information on that. But there is a video on my Facebook where she is wearing it and you can hear her voice and it sounds exactly like it did before the accident. I tried to put it here but it wouldn't work.

Kenzie looked so much like her old self last night!

 Kenzie doing laps in gym class!

We are only 3 days into this week and she's done so many cool things. We have a lot to be thankful for tomorrow and every other day of the year.

Madness

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” -Jane Howard

Our house holds multiple generations, tons of furry creatures and a whole lot of love. My parents were so lucky to find a house that meets all of our needs. Starr and I live in the above ground basement apartment, we have our kitchen, living room, bathroom, laundry room and basement. Everyone else lives upstairs.

Our apartment - Starr, Stitch, Walt, Nala, Kanga and I.

Upstairs - Dad, Mom, Kenzie, Papa, a few dogs and a couple cats. Plus they have a day nurse there 5 days a week and a night nurse 4 nights a week.

Our home is busy, loud, wild, crazy and fun. There is always someone home so we don't have to worry about coming home to a dark, quiet house. We never know what to expect from one day to the next, there is always something going on or some gossip to get in on. My favorite things about living together: being able to go shopping in Mom and Dad's kitchen, not having to drive or wear pants to go see them, and getting to see Kenzie every single day! 

Next topic: My babies! We don't have human babies, (kittens and puppies are way cuter and don't need diapers) so we have puppies and kittens! My poor Facebook friends are probably so tired of looking at them. They all have Disney names, because I like that. You seriously might overdose on cuteness if you dare visit.

 We have our golden retriever, Stitch, who is a giant now. He is almost 7 months old. He's still as perfect as ever, but don't ask his Grandma or Grandpa. He has turned into the best dog. He is calm, cuddly, loving and gentle. 

Then there's Nala! She's a white Siamese and we don't really know how old she is but somewhere between 6-10 months. She adopted us and we couldn't help but open our home to her. She is sweet, quiet and is currently teaching Walt how to be a real cat.

Walt, short for Walt Disney. He is a kitten we got back in August, his momma was killed when he was 3 weeks old so we had to bottle feed him. He has the biggest personality of the four, he is a wild one, independent and has a mind of his own. He is scared of everything and deep down a momma's boy. (Even though he pretends not to be.)

Kanga! She is our newest and last addition. She is six and a half week old Great Pyrnees/Shepard/mutt. We've only had her two days now but she already feels like part of the family. She is fearless and friendly. Stitch is so good to her and Nala wants to be her mom. Nala even lets Kanga chew on her tail! 

 View from Kenzie's room

 Kanga and I

 The Fab Four

 Cuddling on Moms' bed

 Walt and Starr

 Kanga

 Walter the lush

 Seriously, weirdest cat ever

 Stitch as a baby and as a big boy. He loves wearing clothes.

 Love at first sight

 Stitch got a big boy bed!

 This took me twice as long to type because Walt needed attention, so I typed it one handed.

Bonus points if you can name the Disney movies we stole names from!