We Acquire the Strength We Have Overcome.

This week has felt like a time warp.

Starr's good friend, Sam, has a little 9 year old sister. 5 days ago, that little sister was critically injured in a car accident. Sam and her big sister, Jill, flew in from New York to be with her. Starr and I called in to work yesterday and took the day off to spend with them. While we couldn't go in to see Baylee, we were able to spend a few hours with Sam and Jill.

Everything they are going through has hit so close to home. Just a year ago we were in the same position. Listening to them talk about what they were feeling and going through takes me right back to the Great Falls ICU room that became Kenzie's home. I remember being scared to talk to Kenzie because when I talked to her, I would cry and I didn't want to scare her. I remember sitting silently, waiting for the doctors or nurses to come in to give us any information, and as soon as they would give us more hard news, our hearts would break into even smaller peices. I remember thinking that she'd wake up and everything would be okay again. After all, it was my little sister and bad things only happened on TV and in the news. It never happened in real life, let alone my life.

Jill asked me how we got through it and the answer is just to take it day by day, minute by minute if you have to. Just when you think you're all cried out, you'll cry a lot more. Remember to eat, cause a hungry girl, means a grumpy girl and anger will make you cry even more. If you need to hate God, then do it. It wasn't anyone else's business and you don't have to explain yourself. Hug your loved ones, they love you and they don't know what to say to make it better. Let them know they don't have to know, they can just listen and that's okay. Don't forget to fight. Fight for what you think is right.

As they were getting Kenzie prepared for her flight to Seattle, her nurse came up to me and hugged me, and during that hug she told me that her sister died in a car accident when she was 16 and she would have done anything to have given her sister more time.

Hospitals are tough places to grieve in. All of your focus is on your loved one that's in there, but you can't help but notice the other families that share the waiting room. There is a quiet understanding between the familes that you're all on the same team. It renews hope when someone gets out, but it makes the tunnel even darker when another person doesn't make it.

Hold on to your loved ones, you never know what's going to happen.

(I'm still looking for a few people to write letters! I've had some people say they would and they've fallen through. Also: looking for guest blog writers! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.)

Letters

Dear 16 Year Old Me,

You're gonna go through a lot. You'll get your heart broken and it will hurt for a while but you'll be fine. Keep your heart open and don't stop loving. Tell Kenzie everything, she'll have most of those answers you're looking for. Don't take any time with her for granted. Be bad, get it out of your system. Be wild, crazy and free but safe. Use your head. If it sounds like a bad idea, it's a bad idea. Don't do it. Some people aren't meant to be in your life, no matter how bad you want them there. Do your homework, stupid. Boys are dumb, don't even think about them because it won't be worth it. Keep fighting for what you think is right but pick your battles. Some battles can be left unfought. You don't always have to be right. Whatever you choose to do, go big or go home. There are tough times ahead so live it up while you can, love with everything you have and be yourself.

Dear Future Me,

I hope you find some peace. I hope you find direction. I hope you appreciate the people around you. I like to think that you're helping people. You better not be a lame adult. I'll be pissed. I hope you see your family often and that you never give up hope. I want you to be with Starr. She's your person. I know it's hard to remember when you're both pissed, but suck it up and apologize because nothing is worth losing her. Continute to be in a pain you parent's ass, gotta keep them on their toes. Be a better person. Don't get too wrapped up in your stuff to ask your friends what's up with them