Writer's Block

I have just not been myself lately. For the past three weeks I've working about 50-55 hours per week, so I've slept and read a lot. I haven't talked many people, including my parents.

I love to write. I feel connected to myself when I write. I feel like I have to write to live. And if I haven't been writing then I've just been existing.

If you have any ideas at all, let me know!

Valentine's Day

Matching tattoos. Holy shit, right?

I know that a lot of people are probably freaking out right now. But when something big happens in my life, I get a tattoo. My body is my story. I got my horseshoes in memory of my Grandma Mona. (Mom, Aunt Sandra and I all have matching ones. I got my lady bug and nickname done for my 16th birthday. I got my collar bone done when I moved out of Lewistown. I got my sister tattoo for my Kenzie. In October I got a tattoo in rememberance of the accident. Today I got one representing my love and relationship. It's the infinity symbol, meaning we are forever connected.

YES!

WE GOT THE HOUSE!

My parents put on offer on a house right across the street from the pasture where we keep our horses. The offer was accepted and it closes in 30 days! My parents just have to wait for Medicaid to make it Kenzie accessible and then they get to start moving!

The house has an apartment in the basement and so when November rolls around, Starr and I will be moving in with them! My heart is soaring!

My Sister: The Rockstar

Kenzie has been moving her head and body more lately, her grip is getting stronger and she's actually made so much progress that she is getting her speech therapist back. When my parents plug her trach, she makes quite a bit of noise. The doctor has talked about getting a 'talking trach' put on her. It may not seem like a lot of progress to people on the outside, but her 'tricks' have renewed hope and showed us a little bit of light at the end of that tunnel. Thank you for the prayers, they seem to be working.

Numb

I've gotten into the habit of a routine. I've been withdrawn and reclusive. I feel numb, which would seem a lot better than hurting but I'd rather feel something. I've started reading a lot more and I've stayed mostly offline. I didn't talk to my parents or any friends for about a week. I'm mostly writing today just because I need to stay in the habit of writing. I know its good for me, even if I'm not feeling it.

New things in my life:
-Kenzie's been doing some pretty cool tricks.
-I'm adding another tattoo to my arm this month, it's slowly becoming a sleeve.
-My Ambien makes me have some pretty crazy hallucinations.
-My life is boring as hell. I just eat and watch Dr. Phil, I need some change.
-I'm switching to weekends off in 10 days.
-I'm reading the Hunger Games series, I'm really not as impressed with them as most people seem to be.
-I've been a sucky friend.
-I wish everyone had a blog so I could see inside their heads.

Here are some pictures of my daily life! They include a love note from Girlfriend, a pie she made, our cute faces and Kenzie: