I was so ready to grow up when I was in high school. I moved 2 days after I turned 18, but I moved in with Sandra and Perry. So I didn't really accomplish much growing up. Now that Starr and I have our own place I really appreciate and admire my parents. There are just 2 of us in this house and running a household is hard!
When I was little I didn't realize how much my parents did for me. I miss it all! They cooked, cleaned, payed bills, bought us furniture, took me places and now I have to do all that myself and sucks, a lot.
Electricity, rent, cell phones, cable, Internet... Who knew you had to pay for all that! They should warn you about this shit. We had to sleep on an air mattress for a month, until we could find an affordable bed. We went without internet and tv for 2 months. I didnt know you could live without TV. Starr and I have lived here for 8 months and we are just getting the hang of it. It's almost impossible to keep up on laundry, keep a clean house and hold down a full-time job. Moral of the story: parents rock and do a lot more work then just their 40 hours.
And this is from Starr's blog, which you should all check out:
I have started to realize that my life is changing. I am growing up. I am at that age where I have had life pretty easy up till now. I have always had a job; from babysitting, to getting my first real job, then the next and next and next and next. Although I have always worked, I don’t think I really ever appreciated money. I have alway made money but I have spent it on stupid things like food, movies, electronics, or clothes I don’t need. Not only that, but I have started to realize that I have always taken granted the simple things like a house over my head, a car, gas money, clothes, and hygiene items. Lately, I have really been realizing how important the simple things in life are and how hard being an adult actually is. Making hard decisions, spending your money on things you wish you didn’t have to, watching what you spend and how you spend it, sacrificing things you used to do; although these are all hard things to adapt to, I am glad I am learning these lessons sooner than later.
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
"Stay Strong!"
At the beginning of this journey, we were praying for Kenzie to live. Everyday she was back and forth between critical and stable. Then she lived. Then we started waiting, then we kept waiting.
Every single day our lives is a roller coaster. Somedays the doctors are hopeful, sometimes they say she won't ever wake up. Then she moves or acts like she knows we are there and our hearts soar! Just to have the doctor come in and tell us the best thing for her is to just let her die.
It's so hard to keep hoping and have faith when you know that even if she comes back, it won't be MY Kenzie. Sometimes the doctors say that she will have no quality of life and absolutely no chance of an independent life.
And then she moves finger when my parents ask her to...
How are you supposed to take all that? It's such an emotional journey and when people say "stay strong" I wanna punch them in the face. If you were in my situation, (your little sister/best friend's life has been taken, but yet she is still alive) how would YOU take it. How in the world would you possibly be able to "stay strong"? Your entire life has been flipped upside down, you have to watch your parents' hearts break, Kenzie's friends hurting and your extended family crumbling. Every morning when I wake up I have to ask myself "How are you going to get yourself through the day?" and every night it's so easy to think "Wouldn't it be so simple to just not wake up?" but then I think of my parents and Starr and it's such a selfish thought. You have to deal with her life being over, the thought of her starting a new one and if it really is best for us to be keeping her here.
In my heart, I feel that Kenzie isn't ready to quit. She waited for the EMT's to get there before she stopped breathing and she hasn't quit since. Her heart hasn't skipped a beat. I think she will let us know when she's ready, and from what I see, she isn't even close.
Every single day our lives is a roller coaster. Somedays the doctors are hopeful, sometimes they say she won't ever wake up. Then she moves or acts like she knows we are there and our hearts soar! Just to have the doctor come in and tell us the best thing for her is to just let her die.
It's so hard to keep hoping and have faith when you know that even if she comes back, it won't be MY Kenzie. Sometimes the doctors say that she will have no quality of life and absolutely no chance of an independent life.
And then she moves finger when my parents ask her to...
How are you supposed to take all that? It's such an emotional journey and when people say "stay strong" I wanna punch them in the face. If you were in my situation, (your little sister/best friend's life has been taken, but yet she is still alive) how would YOU take it. How in the world would you possibly be able to "stay strong"? Your entire life has been flipped upside down, you have to watch your parents' hearts break, Kenzie's friends hurting and your extended family crumbling. Every morning when I wake up I have to ask myself "How are you going to get yourself through the day?" and every night it's so easy to think "Wouldn't it be so simple to just not wake up?" but then I think of my parents and Starr and it's such a selfish thought. You have to deal with her life being over, the thought of her starting a new one and if it really is best for us to be keeping her here.
In my heart, I feel that Kenzie isn't ready to quit. She waited for the EMT's to get there before she stopped breathing and she hasn't quit since. Her heart hasn't skipped a beat. I think she will let us know when she's ready, and from what I see, she isn't even close.
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