Here We Go Again...

Kenzie was hospitalized after contracting a severe UTI. After turning purple, getting 104 fever and freaking out both the night nurse and my mom, Kenzie got to go on a trip to the E.R. Because of the shunt in her head they want to keep her for a few days because it's a possibility that her body's natural response will attack the shunt that's in her head/stomach. Of course she'll have awesome company and anyone is invited to stop up, say hi or be mean to her!

I swear we've spent so much time in hospitals in the last year and a half that we could write an etiquette book. Here are a few tips, tricks and rules that I've learned:

Ask questions, its better to look dumb than to feel helpless and confused.
Use the nurses and CNA's to your advantage, that's what they are for. If you need something, ask for it.
If you're gonna get hurt/sick, go to Great Falls, the Lewistown hospital has Facebook blocked, ridiculous.
Don't be afraid to question doctors decision's, they can only make decisions with what they know.
Hospital beds can sleep two.
Friends are everywhere.
Caffeine can be your best friend, or your worst enemy.
Buy expensive Kleenex, your nose is worth it.
Doctors and nurses work really hard, be nice.
Write everything down, survival mode doesn't include long-term memory.
Don't forget to eat, it puts everyone in a better mood.
Laugh and be inappropriate, serious-ness will kill you.
Drink water, it does a body good.
and
Waiting rooms are an awesome place to play pooch or pregnant.

Because it's Home

With the moving date coming up soon, (August 11th!!) Starr and I keep getting asked the same question: Why Lewistown?

We want to move home. We want to be around people who know us and love us. We want to see our families more. Life is a lot more simple in Lewistown. It's slower paced, quieter, just better for us. At least for now. We want to settle down and do a little growing up. We want to start a family. (Just animals!)

Basically, Lewistown is the place for us. It's what we need right now and it's where we belong.

If anyone is interested in writing a letter for me, I'd really appreciate it! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.

Here are some girlfriend pictures we had done:

Home Is Not Where You Live, But Where They Understand You

It's been a while! I've been in Lewistown since the 3rd. Skeeter (my horse) hurt her leg real bad and we were afraid that she we would have to put her down, but she's a trooper and now she is starting with the healing process.

I miss Starr like crazy! Sleeping alone is tougher than I thought it would be.
Stitch is officially ours! Him and Maggie are two peas in a pod, they play all day everyday. He sleeps through the night now it's awesome! He's pretty cute, too.

Kenzie's respiratory therapist moved down her trach size so hopefully we are on moving right ahead on the long road to closing that sucker up. It is so great to see her every day, but sometimes I just miss her like crazy. It's hard to see pictures and be reminded of everything that's been lost.  

CNA classes are going pretty good. I like it a lot more than I thought I would! I have pictures and an awesome video that Angela made for the Kenzie fundraiser.

Click here to watch the video. Make sure you have Kleenex!

Mr. Stitch

Kelsi cut my hair!

The view out my front door.

First time holding Stitch

Momma and the ponies

Spring Creek

A fawn outside the hospital

Horses right outside the door

Maggs!

Best friends

Kenzie, Pal and Daisy

Momma and Maggie

Skeet

Beautiful People

I am blown away by how many people have reached out to me. Countless people have sent me messages and emails and texted me and talked to me on Facebook and even if I haven't written back or responded in anyway, I still appreciate it. I am thankful for each and everyone of you that have reached out to me and supported me.

I never knew strangers could have such big hearts.

I don't have very many words because honestly, your love leaves me speechless. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of you at the October 8th banquet!

My family has also been amazing. My aunt Sandra and I talk on the phone for about an hour a few times a week. She's listens to me cry and dream and be a brat and she still just loves me. Uncle Perry knows exactly what I need when I come home. "Let me know when you are coming and I'll cook you a nice dinner and we can drink beer and lie to each other." :)

Yesterday was Girlfriend Day at our house. That means no phones, no Facebook, no email. Usually we just stay inside and lay around the house but yesterday we went to Qdoba, shopping, Lion King 3D, Paradiso, and then we got Red Box movies and just laid in bed. Girlfriend Day's are good for your heart. Have I mentioned how much I love Starr? Cause it's a lot. She keeps me sane and she deals with all my bullshit.

Today is Madison's birthday! She is 17 and the best friend Kenzie could ever ask for. I'm proud to call her my sister.

Also! Kenzie gave us a thumbs up this weekend! Our hearts are soaring! My little sister is a rock star! :) Write her a note here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pray-For-Kenzie-Zarn/117728701655947

12!

I have a few blog ideas, but I don't wanna cry tonight, and when I write about Kenz I cry a lot.

Facts About Me

12. I make a wish at 7:21, 4:23 and 10:19.

11. I'm not even a little bit mad at Erika and I never have been. I'll make a blog about this later.

10. I love books. I refuse to read on the new electronic tablets. I love the feel of pages, and I read in the shower.

9. I don't like most people. I like them individually. But I don't like groups of people.

8. My kidneys suck. Usually my left one, but sometimes my right one too.

7. I Facebook creep, like a pro! Public profiles are one of my favorite things.

6. I love Dr. Phil. I used to like Oprah, before she had a behind the scenes show. Then I saw what she is really like and I don't like her very much.

5. I am pretty offensive. Always.

4. I'm in a same-sex relationship. I'm not gay. But I'll call myself a lesbian if it's easier for you. I'll marry my girl someday.

3. My family is awesome, all of them, even my parents. We fight and drive each other crazy, but we love each other a lot and I don't keep secrets from them.

2. My life changed on July 11, 2011.

1. My little sister is my very best friend.

My Sister, My Friend

This post is going to be a little different. There isn't a 'theme'. I didn't really wanna write because I've been a wreck the past two days, but I figured once I took a day off I wouldn't come back. I have a few things I want to address. So here we are!

First, I'm going to be bitchy and say that it drives me crazy when people say "Just open your eyes, girl" or "Let's see those beautiful eyes!" Kenzie has sleep/wake cycles. When she is sleeping her eyes are closed, when she is awake her eyes are open. HER EYES ARE OPEN. But they don't move. Well, the right one twitches a bit but thats it. Okay, just had to get that off my chest.

I went through all of my old Facebook messages from Kiz today, most of them are completely inappropriate. But here is a keeper.

Kenz- i want you here.
Me- i know. i'm sorry.
Kenz- not youre fault.
Me- i love you. always. the most.
Kenz- i love you so much. i can't even tell you.
Me- you will always be the best friend that makes all my other best friends a little less.
Kenz- same to you, even if they are just a little bit less.

A few people have asked me to make Kenzie and I's relationship a blog topic. But I can't. I'm not ready. It hurts too bad.

Today, I held my Kenzie's hand and cried. I did both all day. I told how much I missed her and how I was waiting for her to come back. I told her about the accident. I told her that Erika is okay. I told her that today is August 22nd and that she has been away for 42 days. I told her I loved her and I cried some more. I told her she can't talk to me because she broke her jaw and it's wired shut.

I prayed out loud. I asked God to help her, heal her brain and bring her back to us. I told him that I'm selfish and I want my sister. He can't have her yet.

She squeezed my hand a few times. She moved her face a few times. She turned her head towards me.
I'm got a few videos of her moving when I was talking to her, but I'm not sure about sharing them yet.
Here are a bunch of Kenzie pictures! The first one is her new haircut, poor girl. The one after that is a picture of her from today. The rest are from the last 2 years or so. Pictures of us, just loving each other.

& a girlfriend picture cause I miss her. :)