A Little Love

Some exciting news! Starr and I filed domestic partnership paperwork last week! Woo! Because we live in Montana we don't really get any rights with it, I'm just able to be on her insurance that she receives through her new job. Today, we are going to fill out our medical power of attorney paperwork and get it notarized so we are protected if anything happens. It's important for everyone, especially committed same-sex couples to have a medical power of attorney, financial power attorney and living will. (A key example of what could happen: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1631465) Just another step in the journey of us! 

Last week we bought new (to us) furniture!

Starr and I had an entire "Girlfriend" weekend and stayed 

away from social media/texting for Saturday, Sunday and Monday. 

We hung out with the furbabes, cleaned and just hung out 

with one another- utter perfection.

I gave Starr a little something for her week ahead. 

And Starr brought me home a few surprises!

I quit chewing my nails this summer and she likes to bring home polishes and new things to try. 

Wouldn't be a blog without pictures of the animals!

I'm a lucky girl.

Thanks for reading! 

What was the highlight of YOUR week?

"I want all of you, forever, everyday."

STARR PROPOSED TO ME!

I know, I know. Finally, right?

Our love story started 5 years ago but we've been together consistently for the past 2.5 years. 

The top is us in beginning of 2008 and the bottom is us 2 weekends ago. (I had weird hair.)

Our engagement story:

Starr called me on her way home from work and asked if I wanted to go for a walk tonight without the dogs. We walk the dogs a lot and always follow the same path but instead of going on our usual route she wanted to go through the pasture. The view of the Moccasin Mountains from our pasture is amazing and it's one of my favorite places in the world; I always call them "my mountains". Well, all the horses had to be in our business and we were almost all the way through and she was just standing there. I kept telling her "Let's go, come on." And she kept saying "Come here." She was driving me crazy. So I walked towards her and she told me to close my eyes because she had a surprise. I was thinking she got me a candy bar or something like that. I opened my eyes and she was on one knee and she had the ring out and we were standing with a perfect view of my mountains. She said "Will you marry me?" And I said "Is this a joke, are you kidding?" Then I said "yes! Yes, yes!" and started crying... of course. 

My mountains

Pistol thought she was being soooo helpful.

The view was incredible!

More of my mountains.

We've had such awesome reactions from people, we couldn't have guessed we'd get so much support.

Starr's parents

Starr submitted our picture to Gay Marriage USA's Facebook page and we've gotten over 3,800 likes!

Then FCKH8 took the picture from them and posted it on their page! 

This prompted a message from a stranger:

Dear Starr and Kayla, 

You don't know me, but I saw your and Kayla's engagement picture and wanted to send congratulations your way. I grew up in Lewistown, in fact my parents and grandfather still live there. I left because as a gay man I thought it would be easier to find love and support elsewhere....I'm glad you didn't have to do the same. I hope you are finding most people in town to be supportive and if not, I wish you all the strength in the world to deal with them. Once again, congratulations and know that strangers out in this world are incredibly inspired and proud of you. Sometimes love takes way more bravery than it should have to.

Best wishes,

S

(I will not post his name here)

I know that at least for me, getting engaged to the girl I love was not about making a statement, it was not about being gay, it was not about anything said in the bible and it wasn't to steal anyone's thunder. It was about love. I love Starr more than I value peoples' negative opinions. I am proud of her and proud of our relationship. She's a rock star and our relationship is amazing. We have an awesome support system in Lewistown and through our extended families. It breaks my heart that people have had to deal with shitty people who are miserable enough to try to ruin someone else's happiness. There have been a few negative comments about this step we've taken but fuck those people. Only value the opinions from the people you value.

 I found my soul mate at age 15 and even though we've been down a rocky road and it hasn't always been easy, it has always been worth it. We have a healthy, happy and successful life together. We trust, respect and value each other. How lucky am I to have found someone so special, at such a young age?  

Here is our first picture as an engaged couple! 

I am so thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I've never known that it was possible to feel so sure of something before now. I'll always have her to keep me grounded when my head is in the clouds, to love me even on my worst days; to laugh with, day and in and day out. It's us against the world. 

We Acquire the Strength We Have Overcome.

This week has felt like a time warp.

Starr's good friend, Sam, has a little 9 year old sister. 5 days ago, that little sister was critically injured in a car accident. Sam and her big sister, Jill, flew in from New York to be with her. Starr and I called in to work yesterday and took the day off to spend with them. While we couldn't go in to see Baylee, we were able to spend a few hours with Sam and Jill.

Everything they are going through has hit so close to home. Just a year ago we were in the same position. Listening to them talk about what they were feeling and going through takes me right back to the Great Falls ICU room that became Kenzie's home. I remember being scared to talk to Kenzie because when I talked to her, I would cry and I didn't want to scare her. I remember sitting silently, waiting for the doctors or nurses to come in to give us any information, and as soon as they would give us more hard news, our hearts would break into even smaller peices. I remember thinking that she'd wake up and everything would be okay again. After all, it was my little sister and bad things only happened on TV and in the news. It never happened in real life, let alone my life.

Jill asked me how we got through it and the answer is just to take it day by day, minute by minute if you have to. Just when you think you're all cried out, you'll cry a lot more. Remember to eat, cause a hungry girl, means a grumpy girl and anger will make you cry even more. If you need to hate God, then do it. It wasn't anyone else's business and you don't have to explain yourself. Hug your loved ones, they love you and they don't know what to say to make it better. Let them know they don't have to know, they can just listen and that's okay. Don't forget to fight. Fight for what you think is right.

As they were getting Kenzie prepared for her flight to Seattle, her nurse came up to me and hugged me, and during that hug she told me that her sister died in a car accident when she was 16 and she would have done anything to have given her sister more time.

Hospitals are tough places to grieve in. All of your focus is on your loved one that's in there, but you can't help but notice the other families that share the waiting room. There is a quiet understanding between the familes that you're all on the same team. It renews hope when someone gets out, but it makes the tunnel even darker when another person doesn't make it.

Hold on to your loved ones, you never know what's going to happen.

(I'm still looking for a few people to write letters! I've had some people say they would and they've fallen through. Also: looking for guest blog writers! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.)

Sisters Heal Your Heart

Kenzie's best friend Madison and her big sister Kayela came up for the barbecue. That's right, her Lewistown friends get too busy for her, but these girls drove a total of 14 hours for a two night visit. They were so helpful, they helped clean, do yard work and set up for the barbecue. We had a blast with them, we caught up, drank too much and laughed a lot.

Madison amazed me with the way she treated Kenzie. She treated her just like she was Kenzie. Always talking to her and touching her. Including her. Instead of talking about her, she talked to her. She made sure that she wasn't ever alone and continuously giving her shit. :)

Madison and Kayela made yesterday so much easier. The tearful goodbye today was hard, but that just means Kenz and I get to look forward to another visit. Thank you girls for everythingI love you!

I Am a Big Sister

I am a daughter, girlfriend, niece, cousin and friend. But my favorite title is sister. To me, being a sister means being a best friend, cheerleader, shrink, mind reader, doubter, dream sharer, memory keeper, rival, defense attorney, challenger, protecter and keeper of secrets.

It means being whatever she needs you to be, whenever she needs you, whether she realizes it or not. It means that only you are allowed to pick on her and if anyone messes with her, you have to kill 'em. It means teaching her how to be sneaky, do a flip on the trampoline, wear makeup and how to drive a clutch. It means knowing exactly how to cheer her up on stupid days. It means giggling til 3 in the morning. It means whats hers is yours and vice versa, including her half chewed gum. It means talking all night about mom and dad, friends at school or the boys of summer. It means stealing clothes and wearing a sweatshirt all day so she won't notice. It means learning the hard way that girls are bitches, mom and dad are always right and any other best friends will be slightly less best than that girl you call sister. It means saving your pennies for gas money so you can find that back road where you feel like the only two in the world. It means never giving up hope. It means being together every step of the way. It means fighting for her when she can't fight for herself. It means unconditional love and it means missing you like crazy, Kiz.

Off Like a Prom Dress

There were 3 important proms last night! Kenzie went to the Class C prom, Katie held the adult prom in Roundup and Madison had prom in South Dakota! Time for pictures:

Kenzie and Amy

Kenzie and Morgan 

 Kenzie and Brittany

Adult Prom

 The one who made it all happen: Katie

Madison's Prom

Kenzie's birthday present!