This week has felt like a time warp.
Starr's good friend, Sam, has a little 9 year old sister. 5 days ago, that little sister was critically injured in a car accident. Sam and her big sister, Jill, flew in from New York to be with her. Starr and I called in to work yesterday and took the day off to spend with them. While we couldn't go in to see Baylee, we were able to spend a few hours with Sam and Jill.
Everything they are going through has hit so close to home. Just a year ago we were in the same position. Listening to them talk about what they were feeling and going through takes me right back to the Great Falls ICU room that became Kenzie's home. I remember being scared to talk to Kenzie because when I talked to her, I would cry and I didn't want to scare her. I remember sitting silently, waiting for the doctors or nurses to come in to give us any information, and as soon as they would give us more hard news, our hearts would break into even smaller peices. I remember thinking that she'd wake up and everything would be okay again. After all, it was my little sister and bad things only happened on TV and in the news. It never happened in real life, let alone my life.
Jill asked me how we got through it and the answer is just to take it day by day, minute by minute if you have to. Just when you think you're all cried out, you'll cry a lot more. Remember to eat, cause a hungry girl, means a grumpy girl and anger will make you cry even more. If you need to hate God, then do it. It wasn't anyone else's business and you don't have to explain yourself. Hug your loved ones, they love you and they don't know what to say to make it better. Let them know they don't have to know, they can just listen and that's okay. Don't forget to fight. Fight for what you think is right.
As they were getting Kenzie prepared for her flight to Seattle, her nurse came up to me and hugged me, and during that hug she told me that her sister died in a car accident when she was 16 and she would have done anything to have given her sister more time.
Hospitals are tough places to grieve in. All of your focus is on your loved one that's in there, but you can't help but notice the other families that share the waiting room. There is a quiet understanding between the familes that you're all on the same team. It renews hope when someone gets out, but it makes the tunnel even darker when another person doesn't make it.
Hold on to your loved ones, you never know what's going to happen.
(I'm still looking for a few people to write letters! I've had some people say they would and they've fallen through. Also: looking for guest blog writers! Contact me at kayla.zarn@hotmail.com for more information.)
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