Personally, I'd Like To Be A Skinny Bitch

For the past two weeks, I’ve been debating whether or not to write this, and if I did write it, I didn’t know if I wanted to post it. I am changing my life. I didn’t know if I wanted to share this part of my life, but again, I’ve made a promise to stay open… So here goes!

I’m really scared to write this because opening up about my struggles with make me so vulnerable. I’m really unhappy with how I look and even more unhappy with how my body feels. I felt tired and lazy all the time. Two weeks ago, Girlfriend and I started Weight Watchers. The first few days were horrible, I wanted to face punch everybody. But I stuck it out and got that phase over with pretty quickly. WW’s has made a huge difference in how I think about food. Before it was a comfort, if I had a bad day I’d just make it all better with mint chocolate chip ice cream, (holy shit I love that stuff) but now I have certain amount of points for the day so I don’t like to waste them on things that don’t give me energy or make me feel full. I miss blue icee’s the most. But most fruits are zero points and vegetables are zero points, so if I use up all of my daily points s and I’m still hungry, I can just load up on those. It gives you more control than just counting calories. Instead of using food as an antidepressant, it’s now just fuel. I eat so that my body has the nutrients it needs to function and keep me going through the day. I can still eat everything I want; I have Skinny Cow treats in the freezer and chocolate in the cupboard. But instead of having 10 Hersey Kisses, I have 2 and then the craving goes away and I can get on with my day! I also didn’t live a very active life, I work in a call center so I just sit all day, when I get off of work it’s 11 p.m. and dark out. Now I realize that all of those ‘reasons’ I didn’t work out were just excuses. Now that I make it a priority, I do workout DVD’s, Wii fit, or go for a walk after work. After all, it’s dark and we have the roads to ourselves! I’ve heard that more you workout the more you like it, but right now I just suck it up and swear when it hurts. I don’t like or look forward to exercise, so to keep me moving I have a deal with myself. The deal is: if I work out for at least 15 minutes today, I get to wear sweat pants. If I don’t, then real pants it is. (I hate pants; obviously the world would be a better place if we were allowed to be naked always.) So far I’ve stuck to that deal every day, even getting a 50 minute workout in with Girlfriend yesterday. I haven’t lost much, only 5 pounds, but I FEEL better, which should be what it’s all about.