Out of the Darkness

On October 1st, Starr and I went to Out of the Darkness walk at the North Dakota State capitol. There were over 1,000 people there. Each of the participants got a colored strand of beads. Starr's was purple, which means that she has lost a loved one to suicide. Mine was green, because I'm struggling with suicide myself.

Those are all people walking

Before the walk we listened to people talk about how suicide has effected them. One person lost a child, one a sibling, one a spouse and one friend. One lady talked about how she worked at a funeral home for years and how she used to get so mad at victims of suicide for hurting the ones they loved. She told us that now she can see it from their point of view.

I used to be appalled at how someone could kill themselves and leave behind all their loved ones, leaving them all in turmoil. I could not believe that a person could hurt so bad that they couldn't be alive anymore. I couldn't believe that love wasn't enough to keep them living. Now, in my darkest points, I can see how someone could make that decision and go through with it. I can see how the pain swallows someone and how hard it can be to live with. Everyone in the world can say that they love you but that doesn't take away anything. I know how difficult it is to live with that daily hurt. I know how it is to want to die and escape to escape the pain.

I have taken my first step out of the darkness, I hope the shame that comes with admitting that you suffer from depression will be nonexistent sometime in my life.

I'm featuring the blogs of two of the most important people in my life:

Starr:http://starrbrown.tumblr.com/


Katie:http://kenziezarn.blogspot.com/