Wednesday, November 30, 2011

There Ain't Nothing Like a Memory

Every time I see her picture, every time I go to Great Falls, every time I talk to my parents I am reminded of everything that I've lost.

I can get through most days. I just avoid thinking and try to detach my emotions, I don't talk about how I feel. But the more I don't talk the bigger the feeling gets. I'm constantly on the verge of a breakdown. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I can be driving, working or watching TV and if her smile or voice or a memory pops in my head I instantly feel empty. My heart sinks and devastation takes over. Any motivation I may have had that day is gone. It's gotten harder to keep myself together, time hasn't solved anything.

Pictures are the worst. I see her being so happy, so herself. It takes me back to the moment and then when I hit reality, I'm lost. I don't know what to do without her.

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