It's been a long, tough day. I've been on the verge of a breakdown for the past two days but every time I start to lose control and get choked up it's inappropriate. Examples: talking to a customer at work, in the middle of a conversation with an acquaintance, or with a living room full of friends. Her smile or laugh pops in my head and I just lose control. I can't breathe, it gets really hot, my nose starts dripping and the tears come down. On the plus side I've learned that the bathroom is the safest place to cry at work and Momma's ridiculous text messages can usually keep me distracted til the feeling passes.
Tomorrow is 5 months. That's more than any girl should go without hearing her sister's voice. Everyday I miss her more. I can't look at pictures anymore. Her smile breaks my heart.
"Pain of the mind is worse than pain of the body." Give me a broken bone over a broken any day.
Kayla put one hand on each cheek and hang on to your ass. My mother used to tell me that when I was going through something tough. I have no idea what this feels like but I know complete defeat and complete fear of the unknown. Your dream was just a dream sweetie. Hold on to HOPE and hold on to your memories for now, they will keep you strong! Merry Christmas kiddo, take care of you. Summer
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