Thursday, December 22, 2011
When Does it Stop
Everyone has a best friend, one of those lifelong-it-doesn't-matter-what-you-do-I'll-always-love-you-people. It's the person you thought about when you read that. My person, was obviously Kenzie. It's just a tough a pill to swallow when you realize that you've already found and lost that person. The one person who knows and loves you the most in life. Every time I go to Great Falls I restart my grieving process. I am expecting to see Kenzie and I see what's left of her... It's one of those nights where I'm tired of being alive.
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Hang in there Kayla. I understand the huge loss that you have been dealt. I really do understand it. My sons and I have had some pretty significant losses too ( but through death). I am not sure, but in some twisted way maybe dealing with death is easier. A person isn't supposed to die when they are 13 or 16 or 21. Those deaths and the wake they leave are life altering but the loss you have is indeed being relived every time you see Kenzie. I wish I had words of wisdom or salve for your soul. The only thing that comes to mind is this: If it were you in Kenzie's condition, what would you want her to do? How would you want her to live her life?
ReplyDeleteI think that this is such a hard season for a lot of people and know that given you and your family's circumstance it has got to feel overwhelmingly impossible to get through but... you CAN do it. Do it for her, and all the people who love you and all the people who hold you guys in their hearts. You can do it.
I wish I had anything to say.
ReplyDelete"This is life. I mean if anything, this is life. It's real and sometimes it fuckin hurts, but it's sort of all we have, you know?"