Dad was raised Catholic and Mom was raised Presbyterian. Grandma Betty goes to Mass every Saturday night. Grandma Mona taught Sunday school. Kenzie and I weren't really raised in any religion. Keah's family took us a to Wednesday School at the Methodist Church in Lewistown for a while, but we didn't go very often after we were allowed to stay home alone. Joel and I went to a Buddhist Temple last fall, there was a lot of meditating and my attention span could not handle it.
Religion wasn't something we talked about very much at our house. We had a few dusty Bibles on our bookshelves, but it just wasn't a priority. Kenzie and I had had enough conversations for me to know that she was a christian.
God and I have a "unique" relationship. I don't personally believe in the Bible, I'm not a christian. I think the Bible is a collection of stories that were written to help people develop good morals, but I do not believe that it was written by God or from God's words.
Everyday, God and I go back and forth. Somedays I think that he is the reason Kenzie is lying in that bed, that if he is 'almighty' then he has the power to make her better and our lives back together. Those are the days that I hate him, those are the days that we bad news from doctors, those are the days I watch Mom's heart break and know there is nothing I can do to help my parent's hurt. Those are the bad days, the 'stay in bed all day' days, the 'cry at everything and hate the kids that get to go back to school' days. Those days are tough. Those are the days when the panic attacks take over. Those are the days that most people don't see.
Of course we have good days. Those days that I ask God to help my sister, help my family, give us strength. Those are the days that people see. When people say "You are so strong." Those are the days when Kenzie responds and the pressure is down. Lately, there hasn't been many of those days in this family. But I still have hope. Kenzie is young, the brain takes 2 years to heal after a tramatic injury and your brain isn't fully developed until you are 24 years old. Kenzie has time on her side, I think we need to give her that time and in the meantime do everything WE can: good karma, positive thoughts, check out alternative medicine.
After saying all that, I do appreciate everyone's prayers. Everyone interacts differently with 'their' God. Everyone has their own personal relationship with him/her and it never hurts to ask for healing. I mean with Kenzie, we are going to use everything possible. I am thankful for everyone that says a prayer for her or our family and just because it's not my religion or belief system doesn't mean it doesn't help.
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